This article will cover some pretty serious ground, so I advise the reader to sit down and pay the strictest attention. You wouldn’t laugh at a funeral, would you? (Unless that was the dying person’s wish) So don’t laugh at this. What you are about to read is deadly serious. And as everyone knows, such a disclaimer as that can only be a precursor to an article concerning tea.

Tea respect is something which so many people overlook. There is all this talk of coffee, and how much of a ‘kick’ it gives, but what about tea? Tea makes you feel good. It relaxes you, allows human beings to form bonds, and is truly something only second to air and water and designer bedding and TV in terms of what matters most to modern human beings. Coffee? Doesn’t even compare! Yes, it has something, but comparing coffee to tea is like comparing an over-make-upped leopard-skin-dress-wearing woman at a party to the provincial lady who knows how to not only make teas excellently, but does so in a classically styled black dress that would make Audrey Hepburn proud. That’s why I bring this topic of discussion up whenever I go anywhere. Buses, trains, waiting in a shop to buy yet more tea. And I also bring it up when I hear tea getting insulted. Tea, I think. What business have they got attacking the best thing that human beings have ever invented?

Several times my strict approach has been called ‘anal’, ‘bitter’ and ‘reprehensible’, a word normally used by old war veterans and David Dimbleby. It has caused feuds in cafes—with one such feud resulting in me being barred from said Café: good riddance I say! The tea was crap!—infuriated staff at Norwich train station’s temporary tea-shack forecourt thing, and the break-up of my fifteen year (up until tea was mistreated) marriage. But it was worth it. Anything that tea puts its name to always is!

One of the first words I heard as a child was ‘meeting’, closely followed by the word ‘conference’. These words, although not holding much meaning at the age of four, stayed with me. At the age of six, upon suddenly learning what the words meant—while simultaneously discovering my appalling grasp of mathematics—fear shot through me as I discovered that usually meetings, numeracy and the dreaded C word are nine times out of ten horribly inter-linked. Ever since that day I have run at full-speed upon hearing the C word. Nothing or nobody could put me in the same room as it until I was about eighteen, when I miraculously learned to control my ‘conference fear’–

The following link threatened to transport me back in to the arms of meeting / conference hell.

A blog post about MEETINGS: what was I to do!?

Fortunately the Enigin crew is represented online by a real individual whose blood is the regular kind, not the usual cold business kind more closely associated with that creature that attacks the women near the water in epic Australian movie Crocodile Dundee. It is he (I think it’s a He, and by He I don’t mean Mick from C.D. but the man responsible for the blog post) who I have to thank for finally ridding me of my acute fear of meetings and the C word. But that’s what these people do. They are real people who are both business and pleasure. We need more of these kinds of businesses, and then maybe nobody would be scared of the C word!

Like a lot of ladies, I love to have a soak in the bath. It is such a very relaxing place to be. Lying there with a good novel and a cup of coffee (or a glass of wine in the evening) is a wonderful way of chilling out. You can lay back and forget all about your worries for a while. So when I came across this ‘Wireless Floating Speaker’, I knew it had been designed just for me!

I don’t know about you, but there have been lots of times when I have been listening to a CD and I’ve wished I could carry on hearing it after getting into the bath. The only way I have been able to manage this is to leave the bathroom door open. However, this lets the cold air into the room and removes all privacy from your bathing session!

Being able to listen to any of my favourite music whilst I’m soaking is going to add an even greater depth of enjoyment to my aquatic experience. A waterproof speaker is such a clever idea; I wonder why no-one thought of it until now? You aren’t going to have any wires to contend with and this device has a massive wireless range of 150 feet. This means you can set your iPod going downstairs and just take your floating speaker with you into the bathroom!

And think about all of the musical possibilities… If you just want to relax after a hard day then you will be able to have your soak with Classical, Ambient or Chill-out sounds. And if you are getting ready to go out somewhere for the evening, then you can enjoy a more energetic choice of musical accompaniment; perhaps some motivational Rock and Pop or a bit of Dance music.

By the way, my sister seriously just gave me a gift certificate for Botox Cheshire for my birthday. And after I have gotten over the massive insult of it I realized that I didn’t want it at all! So it is completely up for grabs, any takers?

I was always going to be upset when I didn’t get to turn the TV on and see Compo’s ugly (yet strangely endearing) face. So how come some TV shows remain timeless, while others decompose quicker than cheese in a greenhouse?

It comes down to certain very specific magic elements, that’s my theory: you need all of the following–different depending on the show in question, of course–otherwise it just won’t work: Last Of The Summer Winehad these in abundance. OK, so I’m not going to say that this favourite of mine hasn’t dated at least a bit—because yes, it does look positively prehistoric next to The Office—but I will say that there have plenty that have done far worse.

Why Summer Wine worked:

1) Compo’s amazing ugly hagged face!: like something resembling something very old dangling horribly in the nether regions of an already very old man, the show would be nothing without this beauty.

2) The humour: the show never tried too hard, that was what made it. It was literally just a load of old men being grumpy to one another. It was all about proper acting and using the face to tell a hundred different stories. Not to forget the angry wives! Their faces were never less than horrendous!

3) The clothing: like all authentic old men in the North of England, the cast of Summer Wine gave not a monkeys uncle for fashion. They were the original TV vigilantes!

4) The old bikes that the men couldn’t ride: if they’d have just been walking it wouldn’t have been half as funny, would it? No. Compo on a bike was always a recipe for impeding doom and it never did disappoint!

Robotic fish. The stuff of science-fiction fantasy, right? According to the magazine, robotic fish have been around for many years in some shape or form. Their use? To scour the ocean and detect changes in the underwater environment–toxins, pollution levele etc–relaying the information to computers above the surface.

But we’re not quite there yet, so curb your enthusiasm; robotic fish are currently still in their infancy and confined to tanks until they are ready for the open sea.

The question comes to mind: what next? Robotic sharks? Robotic octopi? The list of possibilities is obviously as limitless as the varieties of organic life themselves.

Obviously, if we keep going with this train of thought we arrive, as ever, at a place which is dark and uncomfortable: what about spying? What about the government? Maybe they are already out there? Maybe that cute red fish you saw in the sea which made you think of a certain film is actually not what it appears to be–

But don’t go expecting to actually catch a robotic fish in the future; by the time they are released it’s highly likely that most people won’t be able to tell the difference between what’s real and what’s fake.

By the way, I have just found this amazing new blog done by Paul Welton Enigin. It is all about energy savings, and the technology that Enigin is using to impliment in big businesses and cut the carbon costs!

A few of these Pet Hates are listed below; see how many you can come up with!

1) Post-it notes which have no glue, and you can’t stick to anything! Utterly useless, honestly!

2) White toilet brushes. No explanation needed, I feel. Actually include in that all luxury bathroom accessories.

3) Ignorant people who call bicycle skids ‘immature’.

4) Anyone who dislikes The Brittas Empire for any reason (none of which can be valid, because I grew up with that show and loved it completely).

5) Teachers with really bad breath. (A lasting impression of this haunted me for ages.)

6) That awkward moment when you’re walking down the street and someone copies the exact way you move sideways, crab-like, not letting you past, making you both feel like a right pair of ‘na-nas…

7) Commas in general; not to mention semi-colons, of course.

There are literally hundreds of survey sites on the internet now; gone are the days where there were only half a dozen or so! Bearing this in mind, it is a bit of a gamble knowing which one to sign up with…

The first problem is whether or not it is a safe site. Search results will normally give you the reputable ones on the first couple of pages, but there are always a few exceptions… But even when you have a list of sites to choose from that are genuine there are still good ones and bad ones. With some of them you will have month-long intervals between surveys and even when you do get one you may not even qualify for it.

In my own experience, I would recommend ‘Toluna’. It is safe, regular and interesting. You don’t have to save up that many points before you can cash them in, and there are some handy vouchers to get for ‘CD Wow!’ , ‘Debenhams’ and ‘Amazon’.

The other great thing about Toluna is that you can always find a way of earning a few points, even if there are no big paying surveys on offer. There are also pages and pages of posts where people are interested in your opinion on all kinds of different subjects. And, if that is not enough for you, it is also possible for you to post your own questions and get feedback from other Toluna members!

A great website to join that has some realistic rewards.

And lastly, in my humble opinion all of those who are into a more planet friendly lifestyle really need to look at this. This Enigin Energy Savings blog has some really inventive ideas for firms who are concerned about thier carbon footprint, I am really digging them right now.

I was just having a look on the ‘Gadget Show’ website when I came across this brilliant Pac Man watch. For a few seconds I thought I knew exactly what to ask Santa for this year, but then realised that it would be a pretty unlikely gift to get…

Namco are only making 500 of them and it has a price tag of around $130 on it; I am devastated! I’ve always had a great love for retro games (even when I was a kid and they were new games) and Pac Man is one of my absolute favourites. The idea of having a watch that is complete with a Pac Man munching ghosts and cherries really appeals to me!

I wonder if they will have a rethink and make a load more of them? Fingers crossed for next Christmas…

Someone could actually make a lot of money by manufacturing stuff like this. The retro games scene is very popular with both the young and old. Can you remember those watches in the eighties where you could play Space Invaders on them? They are probably quite collectable these days. I wonder why no-one has started to reproduce them? Surely there would be a market for them, along with watches that featured other classic games like; Galaxian, Gorf, Scramble or Asteroids.

Back when I was a kid, there were all different kinds of strange novelty watches; calculators, radios and even walkie-talkie ones! I’m sure that the kids of today would still enjoy them just as much as we did.

So before I log off, I have something to admit. I love Gregory House (sorry Ron). I was watching the last season on dvd well into the night and the acting was brilliant, and I can’t say enough good things about the new series as well!

I have never thought of myself as being a cruel woman but after writing this list I maybe should… Mind you, I am sure there are plenty of other girls out there who have noticed the common faults in men!

· Thoughtless.

If you have got something that is bothering you then you can rely on your man to not bother asking you about it! They just DO NOT THINK!

Been for a job interview? Well don’t go expecting HIM to ask you how it went… he’s probably forgotten all about you even going.

· Socks.

Why is it that men have so many revolting habits? They leave dirty socks on the floor, whiskers in the sink and they never think to clean the bath after they use it.

· (Totally Not) Understanding.

If it is that time of the month or is you are just feeling a little bit insecure then they usually won’t notice without some unsubtle prompting. Feeling bloated today? Well HE isn’t going to understand that, is he?

· Disorganised.

Men are useless at organisation. If a guy has more than two things to do at once then he will be in serious danger of having a breakdown. There is a simple cure for this which is used by women all over the world… end up doing more things for them! More work, sigh.

· Immature.

No matter how old a man gets, he never grows up. You can always be sure they will come out with an inappropriate comment, a rude joke or a stupid impression of some children’s television character from the 80s. To make matters worse, they have a habit of doing this when you are around other people…

Us ladies get really fed up with stuff like this. Maybe I am being a little bit mean but I really hope that a lot of men read this post…

I was doing a few things online the other day and I came across a site covering chemical face peel. Before I go on I would like to say that this is something I have never even ponder before this moment, but with a little bit more examination, I can’t help but want to try it

I have always been a bit of a sucker when it comes to gadgets. My boyfriend winds me up about it but I know that he is just jealous because I am more up to date with technology than he is…

The other day I saw one of the best gizmos ever. It was when I was visiting my friend at her apartment. We were standing on the balcony smoking (she doesn’t smoke indoors) and talking about something or other. She asked me if I wanted another coffee and then went inside to make it. I looked out over balcony at the gardens below and saw something strange on the neighbour’s lawn. It looked like a cylinder vacuum cleaner without its hose and it was moving around on the grass by itself.

I shouted my friend but it had disappeared by the time that she came back outside. Typical. When she went back in to finish the coffee I spotted it again. This time she managed to get a glimpse of it before it vanished behind a hedge. We spent the next five minutes waiting for it to reappear. When it did we soon realised that it was a cordless and programmable lawn mower. Neither of us had ever seen one before.

So, here I am now. I’m just waiting for my boyfriend to get home from work. He knows how much I love new gadgets and the grass really could do with cutting.

I may know more than him about technology but he is the highest earner…

Also a bit of good news Enigin got picked up and written about!